The Little Obsession
by Shuukitane
Summary: Primo likes strawberry shortcake. Now, everyone likes strawberry shortcake. A multi-chapter drabble-esque. Co-written with zairaswift
1. Chapter 1 - Primo

_Primo likes strawberry shortcake. Now, everyone likes strawberry shortcake._

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. *Applies to entire story**

…

A plot I had, co-written with zairaswift

* * *

 **The Little Obsession**

 **Chapter I**

 _ **Primo's Little Obsession**_

As the founding leader of 'Vigilante' group, Vongola, it was required for him to attend parties to gather sponsors, allies and spread influence. However, at this particular party, he was never invited and so, snuck in to this rather special masquerade party. G, however, did not condone to the decision that Giotto had made, but, as always, was disregarded.

The moment Giotto stepped in to the Great Hall, where dancing and festivities were held, there, on the side of the room, was a great, long, white clothed table. And on centre of this great, long, white clothed table, stood a five-tiered strawberry shortcake glistening with strawberry-ness, covered with swirling designs of freshly piped whipped cream and sparkling strawberry decorations.

G, being the doting right-hand man of this said powerful leader, had managed, with his skill, to follow the half-crazed man to the party and immediately recognised the expression which Primo showed on his face, despite it being half covered with a mask.

As the 'fuwa-fuwa aura' of the cake wafted through the air surrounding the cake and towards Giotto. He spared no effort and instantly teleported directly in front of the server. The said server, showed no signs of surprise – perhaps already used to such actions, was immediately and politely asked by Primo for a slice of cake. G already flailing desperately, rushed towards the blonde who was being handed a slice of the cake.

Giotto, being lectured once again by G about 'Not revealing his identity' and 'Upholding the pride of the Vongola' and 'Definitely should not be eating sweets,' ignored his storming friend. Ignorant of the stress of his friend, Giotto delicately used his fork to get a considerately sized bit of cake and promptly put it into this mouth, only to be overwhelmed by the hit of strawberry shortcake and the sudden relief he felt.

 _This_ was what he has tried to find his entire life! _This_ was it! _This_ was the one joy that he can have forever!

He felt himself floating through pink clouds of strawberry-ness. He felt all the time that he spent signing and reading fine print of paperwork just _disappear_. He felt all the stress and annoyance that he had bottled in to be 'nice' to his guardians fly away!

"Giotto, we _need_ to go," grumbled G. Giotto turned serious and walked to the front of the room. G, half worried and half relieved, thought that Giotto would announce that 'Vongola Primo' was there and willing for anyone to create alliances. At this time, there were no such things as 'enemies or fights' as it was temporarily eradicated by Primo. G, to be sure that no mistake would be made, quickly made his way towards him.

"Who…"

Everyone in the hall stopped and stared at the blonde man who interrupted their time.

"WHO IS THE ONE WHO BAKED THAT CAKE?" His hand covered the area where his eyes would be, his other hand pointed at the centre piece of the table.

Murmurs suddenly filled the room and slight laughter. G turned a bright shade of pink, feeling second hand embarrassment. The murmurs grew louder as Giotto revealed himself by removing his mask.

"THE ONE WHO BAKED THAT CAKE WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY ALLIED WITH THE VONGOLA FAMIGLIA FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRR !" The whole room started to shout saying that they were the ones who had baked the cake.

You see, the reason why Giotto was never invited this party was that the party members all extremely respected and literally worshipped Vongola Primo. So, in order to prevent any chaos from happening, Giotto was purposely not invited.

Giotto scanned the room, now loud with excitement, fights and shouts. His eyes landed on the server, still calm, and his intuition told him that he was the one he had been looking for. A dark and rather cruel expression appeared on his face.

" **Hue."**

…

The next day, after the server had been whisked off to the Vongola Mansion, a new kitchen appeared. The strange thing was that, it appeared that no staff were ordered to operate it. Despite its normal appearance, the kitchen had a strange door with a sky flame seal and the big bold letters of "PRIMO ONLY" imprinted on it. It was not large enough for a person, and could only fit for example, a large cake.

* * *

 **TBC. Up next, Secondo's Little Obsession**

* * *

Chapter I: Omake

 _ **Omake: "The Initiation Ceremony"**_

It was not so long after Ricardo's acceptance as a Vongola underling that a few years later, Primo had decided and formalised an Inheritance Ceremony – in mind with successors of the Vongola Boss. If one looked closely at the very bottom of the last page, written in fine print of chicken scratch…

"The Initiation Ceremony: The Successor must eat Strawberry Shortcake as dictated and supervised by the Vongola Primo. - Vongola Primo~"

…

The first to undergo this Initiation Ceremony was Secondo – whilst poring over the Ceremony paperwork in order to dig out any loopholes. Upon seeing the squiggles at the bottom of the page, his fingers ghosted over the print with the hint of sky flames. Suspicious of the flame engraved words, he carefully speculated the words and read what he could make out of it.

"Strawberry Shortcake?"

*Poof*

Out of the pink strawberry scented smoke appeared Primo with a relatively standard whole strawberry short cake and two forks on the floating on a plate in front of him. A large cloud of strawberry smoke still remained behind Primo and did not dissipate.

A loud booming voice announced the following. "The Initiation Ceremony of Vongola Secondo has been initiated. The Successor must eat Strawberry Shortcake as dictated and supervised by the Vongola Primo to complete the initiation...tion…tion…tion…"

Seeing as the cake was only slightly larger than the size of his outstretched hand, it looked like it was an easily completed task. Secondo reached for the cake only for it to be pulled away by Primo.

"NO! This is MY cake. YOURS is over THERE."

As Secondo directed his gaze to where Primo was pointing, that large smoke cloud disappeared to reveal an enormous strawberry shortcake- about as wide as Secondo was tall. Properly structured with ten alternating layers of sponge, cream and strawberries, the cake top was beautifully covered with sparkling strawberries and whipped cream rosettes.

This… was now not an easily completed task.

* * *

 _ **Omake 2: "The Late Making of Sin"**_

"Giotto, you must not consume cake for another two days," said Talbot. He would not have his blood if it was deemed unhealthy and tainted from Giotto's diet of sugary sweetness.

"NOOO! YOU CANNOT SEPARATE ME AND MY CAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" shrieked the out of character and possessive Vongola Boss.

"In order to create _Sin,_ we need your blood. Your _pure_ blood."

"MY CAAAAAAKKKKEE IS MYYY CAAAAAKKKKEE!" he yelled. Talbot sighed. The day he predicted to draw the blood for Sin was that very day, no other.

But then he remembered that the Sky Flame had the ability to cancel abnormal effects on the body, such as alcohol induced behaviours and, especially, sugar hype. The old man smirked to himself and portrayed irregular human speed to use his tiny pen knife to draw blood from the cake greedy blonde, catching each blood droplet without spilling it. He's an old man. It's rather common for him to forget things every now and then.

He swirled the little glass vial of deep red.

Yes. His job was now complete.


	2. Chapter 2 - Secondo

**This is a slight time skip from the previous chapter (not the omakes), where, Ricardo has already risen up the ranks and is an advisor/general position. Omakes are in their own different times but are still related.**

…

Reviews would be nice, we want to know what you think of this story. We have all the bosses planned out as well as the people relating to Tsuna.

Co-written with zairaswift

 **Disclaimer: I do not own KHR**

* * *

 **Chapter II**

 _ **Secondo's Little Obsession**_

One thought that such a great leader of, now, one of the most powerful Mafia Famiglias would be very strict and serious. Ricardo, a mere underling with rather bad impressions of said great leader, had stumbled across a rather humble kitchen. It was known to him that no one had worked there except the 'Server,' whom, he had never met and seen before. It was rumoured that he was a ghost on the staff list.

Ever so curious, Ricardo was exploring this kitchen when he saw a rather familiar caped man. A tuft of gravity-defying blonde hair raised alarms in his body. Should he leave? But no. His curiosity. His damned curiosity overcame his creeping fear as he slowly approached the figure. The Vongola Boss, huddled in the corner at the back of the kitchen, turned around, hiding a strange package in his cape.

The look of darkness spread throughout the Vongola Boss' face as he glanced over his shoulder only to have caught a glimpse of Ricardo. Ricardo's heart beat quickened, adrenaline pumped throughout his body. What was so secretive that even the great oh mighty Vongola Primo would hide? Was this… Was this the secret of Vongola's power?!

Giotto was not desperate for escape, however, the man in front of him looked intimidating. He did not like that.

Ricardo heard the man mumble a few words before he went into a stance. A flame burst from his forehead.

" **PROTEEEEEEECT… WITH MY DYING Wiiiiiiilllllllllllll…..** " he shouted as he whooshed past Ricardo who could not even register the speed and the power at which Primo flew. Swivelling around, he barely managed to spot the man disappear behind a corner. Chasing after him, he rounded the corner, only to find he was gone- only a puff of sky flames and a wafting scent of strawberry left in the air.

He deflated and felt defeated by the Vongola Primo. He returned to the kitchen which had originally piqued his interest and approached the area where Giotto had previously huddled. Staring at the metal 'door,' an overwhelming power and will came across him.

"PRIMO ONLY" It said.

A flame of rage burst in his palm and he pressed against the sealed door. He _must_ know what was inside. As he grabbed the handle, his flames reacted violently with the pre-existing sky flame seal and the door exploded in his face. The flying bits of melted shrapnel flew pass his shoulder and his face was covered with exploded… cake bits? As a normal reaction of surprise, his jaw dropped. The cake bits slid down his face, landed on his tongue and Ricardo... was instantly transported to Strawberry LaLa Land!

He was floating and prancing on strawberry clouds and all his stress and worries floated away on strawberry shaped horses. [Dafuq]

Giotto, hearing the explosion with his 'Giotto Senses' in the direction of his treasured kitchen, his intuition told him, ' _ur strawberries r in danger… ger… ger…_ _ger…'_

He immediately teleported to the kitchen and saw the monstrosity that had occurred.

"M-m-my… c-cake…" He fell to his knees, " **MY PREEEECIOUSSSSUUUUU!"**

With a renewed vengeance, he gathered the blown bits of dessert as if it was the only thing he had left.

" **MY CAKkkE…** " He stormed over to Ricardo and grabbed his face with his glove. With a freezing rage, encased Ricardo's face ice with his almighty technique, Zero Point Breakthrough!

Ricardo, with the rather large sense of danger, immediately used his flames to melt the ice. Giotto let go as the man fell to the ground in burning pain trying to quash the scream of agony rising up his throat. In a calm voice the Vongola Boss told him to return to his office.

As he ran back to his office, covering his face with his hands and flames, he could not help but remember the taste of the strawberry shortcake and the formidable power of Vongola Primo.

…

 _1 week later…_

A new door appeared in the miraculously repaired kitchen. It said.

" **SECONDO**."

* * *

 **TBC. Up next, Terzo's Little Obsession and Quarto's Little Obsession.**

* * *

 _ **Omake: The Next Day…**_

The next day after the 'door' event, Ricardo received a summons to Primo's office. He slightly nervously trembled and feared the worst. The door opened automatically to reveal the blonde sitting at the centred wooden desk, his hands clasped, his elbows on the desk, his chin resting on his hands in a dark and thoughtful manner.

Ricardo glanced at the miserably hidden piles of paperwork that were stacked around the room and was offered a seat only for him to refuse and remain standing.

"Do you know why I have summoned you here?" asked Giotto.

"N-no..."

"You… YOU HAVE THE FLAMES OF WRATH! YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING THE NEXT VONGOLA BOSS!" he announced,

"I HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO BE WORTHY, DO YOU ACCEPT?"

It all came to him as a shock, but in this shocked stupor he had to accept with his dying will. The moment he said yes and as his agreement slipped from his lips, Primo disappeared in a cloud of pink strawberry-ness, to reveal the Inheritance paper, dictating that Ricardo was now Vongola Secondo.

The moment he grabbed the floating paper, Daemon Spade's illusion in the room and surrounding area revealed that the room and all the rooms surrounding it had in fact been crammed, full of _untouched_ paperwork.

This... Was not what he signed up for.

* * *

 _ **Omake 2: The Scars**_

 _Whilst the freezing incident was short, scars still remained and only showed when Ricardo was feeling embarrassed and when he eats strawberry shortcake. Thus, is why the mystery of the doors in the kitchen, remained a mystery._


	3. Chapter 3 - Terzo & Quarto

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR**

Co-written with zairaswift

* * *

 **Chapter III & IV**

 _ **Terzo's Little Obsession & Quarto's Little Obsession**_

Secondo, already established as the all-powerful leader of Vongola was on an undercover mission when he came across a particular shop. No, he wasn't lying about this particular shop, however... he may or may not be lying since he escaped from the monstrosity of paperwork that had accumulated back at Vongola HQ. And… _ditchedhisguardians_ only to stumble into some strawberry-ness.

Bustling with frocks and gowns, Secondo became nervous and hesitant to enter, all his bravado drained away as he remembered one incident at a party when he tried to separate a mafia-born lady and her cake. Saccharine tongues that dripped with poison was now definitely not his thing.

* * *

 **That same morning...**

"Dear, come on, you have to go outside."

"No."

"At least, accompany me for a while."

"Outside?"

"DeAr…"

"..."

"..."

"...we'll leave immediately..."

Showing no more objection and feeling defeated by his childhood friend turned fiance, the young man accompanied her with a depressed expression to a popular cake shop.

"Two slices of strawberry shortcake please."

As the two slices of cake were set down at their table, the young man had to rub his eyes just to make sure it wasn't a delusion of his muddled brain. The cakes were exuding a pink aura and the wafting scent of strawberries soon overwhelmed his senses. As he grabbed a fork, a surge of undeniable will overcame him.

" **Dovraaaahhhhhhh** "

A fiery expression and passion burned bright in his eyes as he stabbed the cake with his fork. But, in the instant the fork made contact with the cake, the fork burst into flames, the cake exploded and a large strawberry smoke cloud descended upon the shop.

* * *

 **Just a bit earlier** …

 _Slice. Slice. Slice._ _ **Slice**_ _._ That was all he was, a lowly, middle-aged cake cutter man, cutting cakes into eight, _perfect_ , slices so that the cake could be displayed and sold at the counter. But no, _slice,_ not anymore, _slice, w_ ith his mounting frustration, _slice,_ of how disparate, _slice,_ his own self, _slice,_ was from, _slice,_ compared to the perfection of eight, _slice,_ that constantly stood in front of him, _slice_ , how could he, _slice,_ create such perfection, _slice,_ such succulent beauty, _slice._

In addition to all that, _slice,_ there was a creepy, _slice,_ freaky _, slice,_ voice in his head, _slice,_ the voice, _slice,_ that incessantly giggled, _slice,_ and had started to say, _"today is the day, today is the day, the day is today...ay...ay...ay…."_

… _Slice…_

"Arrgggh! I cannot take this anymore! Every. _Single_. **Day**. All I do is cut cakes, when have I ever eaten one, or at least _tried_ one. Well then. If _I_ am _cutting_ it, _I_ may as well _eat_ it."

"… **EAT IT WITH MY DYing wiiillllllllllll…...** "

Impervious to the fact that his knife had burst into flames and that he was still using that said knife to cut and then shovel cake into his mouth, the moment he tasted the cake, he knew it was a memory and an experience he would never forget. It would forever remain crystal clear for the rest of his life.

Immediately transported to the strawberry dimension, the man felt all his worldly troubles float away as he drifted among the strawberry clouds…

However, this enlightening experience was promptly cut short as a loud BOOM rocketed the cake establishment, and he was pulled to his senses.

Secondo, sensing a sky flame, discarded his previous reservations and entered the cake shop and decreed to the staff that as he was Vongola Secondo he should be granted immediate access to the kitchen. Upon seeing that the man was in a daze while holding a knife that was still alight with sky flames, Secondo was filled with... relief?

But his relief was cut short as an explosion accompanied by another sky flame appeared in the cake shop.

"Two successors? … "

Dragging the dazed man into the cake parlor, Secondo entered, just in time to see a flaming fork before a cloud of strawberry coma descended upon him.

* * *

"Ah… _**SECONDO!**_ "

As the strawberry haze disappeared, Secondo froze as he felt the quaking anger in that voice and started to flail. Sprouting out whatever excuses he could think of to get him out of this situation that were somewhere along the lines of "flaming cutlery will continue Vongola..." His right-hand man promptly ignored him and dragged him back to his paperwork.

And after these events had transpired, two new doors had appeared, how or when they were installed nobody knew, only that they said …

"PROPERTY OF TERZO"

"PROPERTY OF QUARTO"

* * *

 **TBC. Up next Quinto's little obsession**

* * *

 **Omake: A Strawberry Premonition**

Whilst the future Vongola Terzo was enjoying his first strawberry incident, he did take note of something intriguing as he was floating about. Just off into the distance, Terzo could make out the outline of a cape and some gravity defying hair. But, what caught his eye was not the strange, huddled, man, but, the enormous, strawberry shortcake that was floating beside him. Thinking not much of this and wishing to push that sight to the far recesses of his mind, a strong gust of wind blew from that man's direction and carried with it whispers of a maniacal laughter.

" **Hue** huehue. _Soon_..."

* * *

 **Omake: Cake Buddies**

Due to the compatibility of Terzo's and Quarto's weapons, they became cake sharing buddies, a behaviour that escalated during their afterlife in the Vongola Ring. One implement cut cakes and the other was used to eat it. They were often seen with Primo during one of his episodes when his cake delivery had arrived and he was very impatient as perfectionist cutting was not always the quickest and easiest of tasks.


	4. Chapter 4 - Quinto

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR**

Betaed by zairaswift

why don't all the bosses have names :(

* * *

 **Chapter V**

 _ **Quinto's Little Obsession**_

Meetings are booooring, thought the young lad who was undergoing his merchant father's training to be his protégé. He started to fiddle with his katar, the 10th birthday initiation that was presented to him when he was with his father in India. As the teen looked around the meeting room from his couch, he saw that the adults had huddled around the table and didn't seem to be paying any attention to him. Taking his chances, he slid off the couch, and, as quietly as he could manage, snuck out of the room.

It was too stuffy anyway… what did father say again… V…Va… Van? Corporations? Ah well, probably wasn't that important if they let me in.

In order to avoid any staff that would try take him back to that room of boredom, the mischievous teen made a game of keeping hidden. After traipsing through a couple winding corridors and deserted hallways, he finally discovered an open room in which was devoid of life. No, it was a kitchen, but there were no staff, and it was in an especially quiet area of the mansion? company? he was in. Creeping in slowly, he suspiciously peered inside at the compartments and equipment with shifty eyes. Feeling more confident, as it appeared there was no one hiding to ambush him, he crept in…

…only to be confronted with four doors that appeared right in front of his face as he turned to his left. Startled by their seeming sudden appearance, he regarded each of them carefully, realising, that there were words engraved into the doors.

"PRIMO ONLY"

"SECONDO."

"PROPERTY OF TERZO"

"PROPERTY OF QUARTO"

He reached out a hand to the first door but the moment his hand touched the handle, there was an explosion of pink smoke and he was thrown back. It dissipated to reveal a literally _FLAMING_ blond caped man with _impossibly_ spiked hair.

"Wh.. wha", he barely stuttered out before the blond interrupted him.

"WhAt do _YOU_ think YOU'RE trying to _TOUCH_ huh. **HUH**? ANSWER ME. ANSWER MEEEEEEEE!"

"D..do..the door sir…"

"Well THEN, I don't care what happens to the _OTHERS_ , but, at _least,_ leave, MINE, A.L.O.N.E."

The man then immediately disappeared in another puff of smoke that… somehow smelled of strawberries…

Jolted back to his senses by this weird fact that a man had smelled of sweet, _sweet_ , strawberries, the boy scrambled to his feet, encouraged by the words he had heard… "you can do whatever you want to the others..." [selective hearing much?] he immediately moved on to regard the second door.

Pushing all his father's reprimands to the back of his mind, he pulled out his katar and went about deciding how to get into the door as the second door didn't seem to have a handle. Once he decided on a course of action he put all his strength into his weapon. As he tried to cut a hole into the door... he was met with absolutely no resistance and... promptly slammed himself face first into...

...strawberry shortcake?...?!

As he slowly savoured the taste of the cake he felt himself transported to another world, another dimension. Was this… heaven?... He felt so free and he could no longer feel the heavy burden of being his father protégé. He was now just a boy, off in his own world, enjoying strawberry cake

Quarto immediately looked up from his work, his intuition spiking.

"... a sky flame… A SKY FLAME…. THERE IS A SKY FLAME IN CLOSE PROXIMITTTYYYYYYYYYY!"

Rushing to his feet, sprinting as fast as he could towards the direction his intuition was pointing to, he rounded the corner to a kitchen only to find…

"A flaming...Flaming..Two-Pronged..thing….."

Being slowly pulled back to reality after his strawberry trip, the teen became aware of another presence in the room but ignored that in favour of examining his hand as it felt extremely warm…

…

"IT'S ON FIIIIIIIIRRREEEEEEEEEE!"

In the following months, a merchant boy, wielding a flaming katar, was often seen in the Vongola mansion, running away from staff was mainly how others saw him. He had a little safe haven in the mansion somewhere, apparently… though he was never seen near this new door that had appeared…

"MINE

\- Quinto"

* * *

 **TBC. Up next, Sesto's Little Obsession**

* * *

 **Omake: Secondo's wrath**

In the middle of the night, after a tiring day of paperwork, a certain Vongola boss was turning and twisting about in his bed. If you listened closely you could hear some incoherent mumblings of "I'm very sorry Secondo," "it's not my fault… the boy" "ah, no Secondo…" "yes I'm very sorry", "and no it won't happen again," "no no no no no we don't need to engage in a spar, ahaha?..."

A piercing scream was soon heard throughout the Vongola Mansion.


	5. Chapter 5 - Sesto

**Disclaimer: I do not own KHR.**

Sort of Co-written with zairaswift? she's getting lazy...

We have been very hyped for this as we currently reside in Australia. sis ... you say this but you barely wrote more than a paragraph

also… SESTO has a NAAAMMMMEEEEEEE! Finalllyyyyyyyyy

and lol, shift+enter didn't add line breaks

* * *

 **Chapter VI**

 _ **Sesto's Little Obsession**_

Simora had the job of expanding the borders of 'Vongola Corporations' since it was still mainly focused in the area of Italy and its surrounding European countries. In order to expand the influence of Vongola, Simora was sent on a mission as the representative of the Vongola to Darwin, the capital of the Northern Territory in Australia. His arrival in the city was met with a huge celebration of the welcoming of future wealth and prosperity, and so, there started week of celebration and partying.

As Simora's arrival was so joyfully anticipated, those who would be meeting him had managed to decide on a gift.

"Ah, Simora, our members have been excited for your visit," said one.

"Oh? It is an honour. And I believe that all the papers have been finalised?" replied Simora with a polite smile.

"Yes, they have been finalised and should have been sent to your men," the man said and then paused. He waved, as if sending a signal, the masses of people converged together and from within it, emerged a small girl, dressed up beautifully in embroidered clothes and flower crowns. She was holding a large cube made from smaller boxes that were placed in a 3x3x3 formation and at the very top, in the centre of the stack, stood an innocent strawberry shortcake.

The child tottered forwards with her wavering steps and as steadily as she could, set down the gift in Simora's hands. Simora, deeply touched by this gentle gesture, proceeded to bow as he was a very demure man, he thought that this was a great way to show his gratitude for his reception and the gift . However, as he dipped his head, he received a face full of strawberry shortcake and was shortly taken on a one way trip to Strawberry Bliss and Joy.

Seeing the delicious landscape, Simora could not help but feel free and released from the stress and the burdens that were placed on him in his daily life with Vongola. He felt that he had gained a more carefree personality and acted upon this joy as he had started to dance about in the Strawberry clouds.

As the scenery faded away, Simora slowly came to be aware of his surroundings and realised that he had indeed _not_ been dreaming that he was dancing. He had, in fact, danced quite a fair ways away from the party as the town was nowhere to be seen in either directions for he was surrounded by a rather large mob of emus…

… one of them seemed to be increasingly getting angry, it pawed the ground, and, with heavy, thudding steps, walked towards him...

How he knew all this, well… this was because before he arrived in Darwin, a blond caped man incessantly visited his dreams on every, single, night, during his voyage to Australia.

* * *

" _Hey, hey, HEY… Did you know that there are really, Really large birdy things in Australia."_

...

" _They also get really mad sometimes ya kno_ "

…

" _They start pawing sand ya know, kinda like a bull ya know._ "

…

" _And then, and then, and then, they start charging at you._ "

…

" _They're pretty funny actually._ "

…

" _I fed a couple of them some of my favourite food and they went CRAZY for it_."

…

" _Almost started a war, but luckily, I avoided that, it's not time for that yet._ "

…

" _Actually it is almost time for that._ "

…

" _They like food._ "

* * *

Seeing that he had no food on him, and that he definitely, did not want these towering birds charging towards him, Simora set about trying to give some of the boxes he was holding to the emu, who was probably the leader. So he opened a box from the top later only to find that it was _another_ strawberry shortcake… and the strawberries were absolutely _glistening_ in the hot _Australian_ sun. As he opened a couple more, he realised, with an increasing likelihood of chance, that each and _every_ one of the _twenty-seven_ boxes, held a strawberry shortcake.

Thinking back to his first experience with strawberry shortcake, Simora showed no hesitation in setting a couple of them on the ground as gifts to the emu, seeing as it were, cakes are still food. Although, Simora thought, he should still save some for himself, he did quite _like_ the feeling of being stress free.

When the emu saw what was being set on the ground, the rest of the mob, _instantly_ and _collectively_ , turned to look down at the cakes that were being set down. Feeling slightly unnerved by the synchronised movement, Simora backed up a couple of steps away from the birds. Taking this as their cue, the emus immediately made for the cakes, gobbling it down as fast as they could.

Seeing as they were distracted by the offering of food, Simora started to run away. In which direction though? He didn't know, and seeing that he had no idea where he was, he just followed the directions of that annoyingly incessant voice in his head that shouted at him, "No, nononono _no_ , not that way, the _other_ way, "No, not that way, the other _other_ way," "No… no… n..yes. Yes, this way, this way, go this way."

Once the cake had been devoured and the emus were aware what had happened, they also immediately started off, chasing after Simora. Because, you see, only their _leader_ fed them this food, this most delicious food and so, therefore, they must follow their leader and obey his commands.

* * *

Simora slowly became aware that the thudding he felt was not from just his own feet hitting the sandy ground, especially since this thudding was also accompanied by grunting, grunting that was getting louder by the second. Not slowing his pace, he turned his head to see what the cause of the sounds was. It was the emus, a large mob of them. And behind them, the dust from the red land was kicked up, forming a huge dust cloud. They were also gaining up on him. Very, _very_ , quickly, gaining up on him.

The horror of his situation slowly dawned on him.

Seeing, each other in the close distance spurred both the man and the emus. The leader, especially since he was the fastest, strongest and smartest of them all, easily sped up and caught up with the man now that it no longer had to worry about losing his mob.

With one fell swoop, the emu scooped up the man with its head and neck so that the man was now riding on him. Simora, startled and flustered by its appearance and its action had started to flail. This was because there was no bridle, saddle and girth for Simora to hold on to in order to be sat steadily on the bird. His worries started to increase as he also realised that he had no idea if he was allowed to touch the bird in order to hold on. He did _not_ want to fall off, not at the _speed_ they were travelling.

And so, Simora continued to flail, not knowing what his actions could cause…

"Gnnngh." {We will continue in the same direction}

"Gnnngh Gnnngh." {We follow}

"Gnnngh." {His actions will give me directions and I shall pass them down}

"Gnnngh Gnnngh." {We obey}

As the emu skipped over a rock, Simora was caught off balance and wobbled unsteadily, trying to regain his balance.

"Gnnngh." {We are to gather our brethren}

"Gnnngh Gnnngh." {We gather}

"Gnnngh." {Brethren, heed my call and come}

"Gnnngh Gnnngh." {Heed our call and come}

Simora began to think that the thudding was getting louder but how could it? He looked to his left and right… There were _more_ emus gathering and they seems to converge in a mass behind him. Turning rigid for a second while he tried to swallow the fact that there was an increasingly growing mob of possibly angry birds behind him, Simora, had in the process, dropped a few of the boxes he was still holding.

"Gnnngh." {We are to call our friends}

"Gnnngh Gnnngh." {Friends heed our call}

"Gnnngh." {He blesses us with food}

"Gnnngh Gnnngh." {There is food for us all}

The mob of emus picked up the boxes and carried them in their mouths as they continued south. Soon, more thudding was heard and kangaroos emerged from both sides, carrying echidnas in their paws and integrated themselves inside the growing mass of animals. They helped themselves to the food and it was decreed among themselves that the man who fed them this deliciousness would be their overarching leader.

Simora, crazed by the sun and probably suffering from heatstroke appeared to be unfazed, not startled by these events that had occurred, simply leant forward in order to better his ride.

"Gnnngh." {Speed up}

"Gnnngh Gnnngh Unngh." {Speed Hup}

Far off into the distance a dark blob was increasing in size...

Upon arrival at a small encampment, as Simora and the animals entered the area, they were met with a large gathering of Aboriginals. immediately, whispers broke out in full force, the sounds, foreign to his ears.

" _The prophecy has spoooooken..._ "

" _The prophecy was truuuuue..._ "

" _He came among the Mother's chilllllldren..._ "

" _He must be the Mother's wiiiiiiiiiill..._ "

" _And as Mother's will, her Children follooooooows..._ "

How he understood the natives? He didn't know either, must be the incessant voice that was providing the translation.

" _His will is our will, as the will of the Children that follow the Moooooother..._ "

" _Ah the prophecy stoooooone..._ "

" _Is it compleeeeeete?..._ "  
" _It must for he is heeeeeere..._ "

"And it is." said a wizened voice and, out of the masses, emerged an elderly man who was supported with his walking stick and another, equally elderly women was by his side. He slowly reached into the folds of his robes and pulled out a shiny metal object, with the woman supporting, he took the object into both of his hands and graciously presented it to Simora.

Simora's confusion must have been very apparent on his face as the woman gave him a knowing look.

"It is a boomerang, a traditional hunting weapon of our people. It was its wish for it to be crafted into this and be presented to you."

"It?"

"The prophecy stone."

"I am humbled but I cannot take such a precious item from people who I've barely known."

"Please take it, the prophecy has spoken, treat it as a token of gratitude from the Mother and all of her children for all the thing you will do."

"... What will I do?" Simora asked apprehensively.

"What you will and what you must."

As Simora grabbed the boomerang with an unfulfilled purpose, a will was dredged from his depths as the boomerang burst, alight with sky flames.

"To do what I must…"

* * *

"Yeeeessssssss, goooooo, for it is time to start…

Dun dun dun duunnnn, THE GREAT EMU WAAAAR!

Kegyagyahahaha." cackled a sugar high blond.

* * *

"Onwards!" Simora shouted and there was a flurry of movement. People grabbed their spears and readied themselves before an emu, hopping up with their permission. They all turned back and headed north, back towards Darwin.

The sun had started to set by the time they see the city on the horizon but by the time they approached, the night had already started. However, it was still loud and boisterous, drinks and food flowed freely, the party Simora had left was still in full throttle, although not for long.

…

"Who's dead?"

…

Still charging at full speed, it was the emus that first noticed a shift in Simora's demeanour, passing out the order, the rest of the animals readied into position.

A sound need not to be uttered before, in perfect unison, the kangaroos acted. The echidnas were pelted through the air, with deadly aim and landed on many an unsuspecting person. Screams filled the air but not before the sound of guttural grunts drowned out everything else. The animals became even more crazed when they saw the object of their affections laid out in plentiful amounts, much like a bounty ready for the taking.

Swiftly gobbling up all the cake and other assortments of food, the animals, feeling replenished lead the next attacked. Spears were thrown, people were pecked and clawed, punches and kicks were thrown. All for the sake of the Mother and her will for this was the reclamation of the land of her children, the others were not to be spared.

It was only in the wee hours of the morning, as the sun rose and the land came back to life, that the carnage could be measured. The bustling city had become a wasteland, rubbish and broken parts strewn everywhere. There were rabbits sniffing for food remains and the dingoes had come to scavenge.

Simora had finished his business here, gathered the completed paperwork and was on his way home when he realised that he probably had to write up a report about the events that had transpired. He decided, in light of paperwork, he was going to recreate a certain cake, because, after all this, he was allowed to have his cake and eat it right?

The boomerang remained burning for a few more weeks, almost compromising Simora's voyage back to Vongola. Shortly after his return another door appeared.

"BEWAAARE… SESTOOOO…"

* * *

 **TBC. Up next, Settimo's and Octavo's Little Obsession**

* * *

 **Omake: The Coming of the Vongola**

"Psst, oi, didn't I tell you not to put the narcotics in the centre-top cake."

"What are ya accusin' me for, I didna touch the top cake govna."

"Then why the hell did he, I don't know, _dance_ away?"

"The heck if I know govna. Maybe he liked the cake?"

"Oh why am I even asking you. Anyways, he can survive out there for long given how the animals are like. Nothing we can do anymore since we can't see him. Hehehe, Vongola will be ours."

"Yes, hehehe, it will be ours."

… … A party later … …

"Um… Isn't that Vongola…"

"HA?! Has the alcohol addled your brain so much that you're having delusions or that you've created a mirage?"

"What! No sir, look, that way, on the edge on the horizon."

"That's just a slowly approaching dust storm."

"But…"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, we'll be gone by the time that arrives."

"But gov…"

"Besides, what are you thinking with you poor addled brain."

"Um, govna…"

"He's been gone for almost a week

" _Govna_."

"Calm down, he's dead and we'll be rich."

" _ **Govna**_ **!** "

"What is it now?"

"…"

"Who's dead?"

"..."

"..."

The high pitched ringing in Simora's ears did not disappear for a week.

* * *

 **Omake: The Compromised Journey**

"It's burning, it's BURNING!"

In the small area of the plane, Simora wondered what possibly could be burning, ah well, it was Vongola and staff were trained to deal with all sorts of situations and as it is Vongola, everything is reinforced and flameproof. So… what could it be that's burning?

"It's BURNING… It's getting close to the… The FUSELAGE! The FUSELAGE!"

… The fuselage, the only thing that could burn that would be, apparently dying will flames of a high propensity, for example a pure sky flame…

That's when Simora remembered that his boomerang, although it didn't burn him, it had never snuffed itself out, a boomerang that seemed to be alight with sky flames, a boomerang he left on a table next to his recently compiled report…

As Simora entered the main space where the flight attendants were panicking like headless chickens,Simora could only take in the sight of a pile of ashes on the table before a strangled scream erupted from him.

* * *

Also please don't feed animals strawberry shortcake, human food is not always suitable for animals and could cause severe illness, poisoning or death


End file.
